Ah, the New Year ... a clean slate,
a new beginning ... that magical time when we feel inspired to
tackle and shift major areas in our lives. Yet even as we make
impassioned resolutions to lose weight, stop smoking, or find
a new job, a part of us already doubts our ability to pull it
off.
That doubt may be well placed, especially
if you attempt to achieve those resolutions the way you usually
do - on your own. As a motivational speaker and workshop leader,
I teach people how to live each day in energetic partnership with
the world around them. When we acknowledge and act inside of this
partnership, we experience unimagined levels of support and guidance
in achieving our goals.
How do you act in "energetic partnership"
with the world? By treating the world as you would a trusted friend
- clearly expressing what your needs are, actually asking for
help or guidance, and then being willing to accept that support.
In the case of New Year's resolutions:
1. Be very clear (and positive!) about
what it is you are trying to accomplish. Simply saying you want
to "lose weight" doesn't speak to how much and for
how long (hopefully, forever!). In addition, there is generally
an unspoken expectation that the entire process is going to
involve varying degrees of sacrifice and inconvenience if not
downright suffering. Who wants to sign up for that?!
What if instead your goal was "to
find a new relationship to food and exercise where I naturally
eat balanced, satisfying meals, enjoy the types of exercise
I choose and experience a whole new level of vitality and energy
in my life"? Creating a goal (I call it a vision) that
inspires and motivates you is half the battle - otherwise, why
would you even want to play the game?
2. Don't try to achieve your goal
alone - ask for help from the world around you! Turn to your
friends for help and support. Form a group of people with similar
goals. Find supportive organizations. Do everything you can
to get the word out there about what it is you are up to - that
external support and guidance is what will sustain you when
your own motivation dips.
In addition to asking specific people
and groups for support, consider putting a "general request"
out to the universe for assistance. This is an especially powerful
exercise in that you create an opportunity to receive help in
completely unexpected ways. Take a moment to focus on your specific
goal (vision) and ask the universe to help you. Then see #3
below!
3. Be open to receiving assistance.
This is often more difficult than it sounds. One of the biggest
pair of blinders one can put on is formed from the two words
"I know". Once you've decided you "know"
how to lose weight, for example, any idea or suggestion that
doesn't fit with what you "know" will be instantly
disregarded. If you "know" that losing weight requires
starving yourself and being subjected to unpleasant forms of
exercise, how can the process show up any differently?
Being open is simply that: being open
to the possibility of new solutions, other ways of achieving
your goals. For example, you expect to achieve weight loss by
eating less and exercising more. There may be other ways for
it to happen more naturally: by reducing stress or emotional
turmoil, or as a result of a new relationship, new job or new
living situation.
Openness also requires alertness;
consciously looking for support that you may otherwise miss
because it happened under unlikely circumstances or in an unexpected
context. You expect to get weight loss support from your gym
coach or doctor, but what if an overbearing business associate
or (God forbid!) your own mother has the perfect solution? Don't
automatically dismiss the insight because of the source - guidance
often comes in unexpected ways.
So go ahead . . . make those resolutions,
and add one more to the top of your list:
"This year, I will always remember
to ask the universe for help!"
